10 years living abroad!

Monday was my 10th anniversary of moving to Europe on a permanent/ semi-permanent basis. I was going to Lyon, France, to do a student exchange which I decided to do my last year of university instead of my third like everyone else. Precisely so I didn’t have to move back! Before France, I stopped in the Netherlands, Denmark, and Switzerland before. Here is a picture of me with my Swiss friend who came to join me for some travels before I went to France.

My friends or others reading this might scoff a bit. I am probably making too big a deal about this. I don’t care. I’ve felt a bit down in the past year with being behind in some things professionally and personally. This means more to me than my actual birthday, as it is the anniversary of my chosen life. I tried several times before to move abroad, but it took me a couple of years later due to financial and educational obligations.

Here are the top five things that I have learned from all this.

How to be better organized!

When dealing with bureaucracy in several countries, you have to get your stuff in a pile. I was probably the most disorganized student in both high school and university. However, you need to have everything in perfect order when applying for different visas, residencies, taxes in several countries, pursuing second citizenship, and many other things.

I can’t please everyone

Honestly, this probably goes with being over thirty. You are damned in this life if you do, or you don’t. If I had to listen to all the comments about me ten years ago, I would be on a suicide watch.

I dealt with mansplainers in graduate school. I’ve had people try to assume I know a lot less than I do because I’m a light-haired girl from the southern US. I deal with trying to navigate languages. People will act surprised when I say something correctly; people will mock me when I screw it up and attribute it to being just a dumb girl from the south.

I’ve gotten all sorts of criticism for everything I’ve done. People in the US think I’m some brat who has basically lived the life of some 20 years old on a study abroad program for a decade, which is far from the truth. I earn a lot less than many of my US counterparts and gave up many things to have the life I have.

My refugee work/volunteering caused me a lot of hate. I had some friends drop me for this. I had some family of a partner also cancel me for this, which hindered that relationship severely. People have strong opinions, informed or not. If you go to a country with weird human rights issues, people get mad. If I made a critical analysis of a place, I need to shut up because I’m from the US, so that makes everything I think invalid.

However, I have many people that do cheer me on, I have a wonderful support group of friends all over the world. The main pocket of friends is in Prague, but I have a few pockets in the Netherlands and the Balkans and some places elsewhere. You can’t please everyone, but it is important to keep in touch, offer support, and love every moral of the people you have in your life.

My privilege

Despite dealing with assholes for my life choices, Living abroad and travelling has made me realize more and more the privilege I have. I knew before that I had it, but not to the extent I know now.

To begin with, I’m treated much more respectfully as a blondish female than I would as a person of colour. I’ve seen this when working with clients from different places and with various law enforcement officers. I have the privilege of being from a native speaking country. I don’t have to learn languages to the extent many others do. While I have made an effort to learn some languages. I more often than not have the luxury of getting the correct information in my native language.

Having a privileged passport allows me to go to many more places visa-free than many others. After trying to help Syrians and Afghans find the correct asylum information, I realize this even more. Many people cannot just jump on a plane and go wherever their little heart desires. My EU /Canadian/ US/Australian friends like to joke about who has more visa-free places and who has a better passport. But the difference between all of these passports when it comes to travel is minuscule. Check out this to learn about where your passport can get you visa-free.

People are the same everywhere. For better or worse

This is true and does not need much elaboration. Some national stereotypes are accurate and are there for good reasons. Still, people don’t change whether they are US-American, Afghan, Dutch, or Japanese for the most part.

Problem-solving is easier now

Anytime you travel or live abroad, you are thrown with a unique set of problems that you might not get at home. You have to be on your toes. Some problems range from trying to get into Belarus with a three-dollar ticket to a boxing match. Trying to my life-saving medication in Bosnia. Being lost at a rest stop in Myanmar. Printing a boarding pass in Morocco with no phone battery. I notice I don’t bat an eye at things that would have put me in a tizzy ten years ago.

So there you have it! Five lessons I have learned. I’m still learning how to get my pile in order, and I am a big fat disappointment to many, but I feel some sense of achievement by having the life I more or less want.