Should I stay, or should I go?

Well, not much progress has been made, I am still in my lovely apartment, but I am really agonizing about that is the best solution for me. It has not been easy. I have been very torn about what to do and how to make this decision despite being well versed in risk analysis. I really am doing a terrible job on this one. Do I try to leave or keep put? I bounce back every other hour with different feelings about it

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I decided the Mexico route is still out of the plan . People are still going in and out through Mexico. I have thought about it a few times, but I think that infections are way more likely to spread this way and since many other gringos have done this. I don’t think this is going to stay a viable option anyway. I think Guatemalan and Mexican border officials are at their wits end with gringos doing this.

The start department has offered to bring several charter flights for those registered. There is one today, one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. I put my name down on the one for Wednesday, but I am slightly doubtful that I will not get picked. I am a lower priority compared to others that need to get home. I should find out in the next 12 hours if this is going to happen or not. If I do not hear anything by tomorrow morning at around 10, I am going to assume that it will not happen. The curfew here is at 4 PM. I can not be out even in a taxi then.

I am also afraid of booking a transfer to Guatemala city only to find out that I did not get chosen and losing my beautiful place here. All of this is just unnerving. Guatemalan air space should operate in a week, so I guess if I don’t get a spot, it will not be the end of the world. I am finding opportunities to put my research and previous NGO and refugee experience to use. I have learned there are potential ways that I can help with the huge problem of disinformation that is going around. I can also help a few local communities that are going to lose a lot of money as a result of COVID 19. A few locals have told me that they are more concerned about losing a lot of money than getting the virus. Not to dismiss the virus as not serious, you will get burned for the stake for that. The economic impact of these local economies will be ruined. I want to try to do something for them, if possible. I have been talking to some people online about this and would like to try to do give back if I am here longer. If I am unable to get out, that is what I will do. In fact, even if I go back in a few days, I will promise to put forth some time in trying to help. All of the work I would be doing here on back home is online in order to flatten the curve.

I agree with flattening the curve. However, some people are throwing this in my face to discourage me from going back to the states like I have some motive to kill every single grandma in the US. This is utter bullshit.

After I realized the implications of going out and about, I immediately isolated within my house. I only run a couple of errands in the morning before curfew. If I make it on a state department flight back to the states, I would be flying back to quarantine myself IMMEDIATELY. Yes, it will take two airplanes to be able to return. I will use precautions with this. I still deserve the option to go back to the states without being bombarded with snarky comments about how selfish and terrible I am. If someone gives me more grief from whatever comfortable house they are in about why I should stay in Guatemala; I will lose it. I am not a 20-year-old spring breaker. I am a nomad that sort of caught myself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I am only allowed in this country for a finite amount of time. I have nobody here. If something catastrophic happens to me, I am royally screwed. While the US healthcare system is awful. I am not so sure how much help I would get here if I got sick. I also have been accused of stealing resources from the locals, of course, by people far away who are comfortably living in their stable homes and not the actual locals. If things get worse, people can get angry, and I will have nobody to turn to. I already got some mean looks from a store and heard some less than kind things said about me. There is some nationalistic rhetoric gong on as I said before blaming the virus on the foreigners here. If I get robbed, what am I going to do? The people here are very kind and welcoming, but it is still a country with one of the highest crime rates in the world. Yes, I know the US also has a high crime rate, but at least I have a place there to wait for things to play out and have somewhat a support system. This choice has been one of the most difficult things I have had to make.

So will I be in Guatemala longer, or will I be out in a couple of days!? Tune in next time to see what happens. I am sure whatever I do, I am a terrible human being that does not care about the sanctity of life.

Regardless of what happens, I will also post an entry in the next couple of days of different fundraisers that are assisting Guatemalans that are losing money over the lack of tourism coming and another fundraiser for an NGO that advocates for the Mayan population.

ADDENDUM: While I did mention my story about the assholes at the Tienda, I have encountered way more nice people. This morning when I was going to the shop, I stopped by to get a coffee to go. I wanted to sit down by the docks to drink it, but they were closed. However, this nice owner of a restaurant next to the docks, let me enjoy a coffee on his deck without bothering me and while keeping a social distance. The owners of my apartment brought me a nondisposable mask and a plate of tamales.

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