The culture of shame around Covid 19

Hey fellow cadets! Happy almost spring!

I’m not going to lie; I feel a little bit like some Jewish kid without a Christmas tree in a southern small town during Christmas time with all these vaccines and stimulus checks when I peep on my US-American friends back home. I’m getting my check eventually. I’m just later to it because I file later, and I live overseas, so just like the last ones, I’ll be a couple of weeks later than most. I’m still happy for everyone getting theirs. However, it might be different from the vaccine. Like most European Union countries, Slovenia has made a slow effort in administering the vaccines in a timely manner. Some EU countries are doing a better job. However, as much as I am vehemently Pro EU in many of my geopolitical views, I cannot help but notice this. The EU is lagging behind Russia, The US, and any other of its counterparts. However, this post is not to complain about the vaccine protocol of Slovenia or the European Union. In fact, this post mostly applies to my US American friends and family, it might be the most US-centric my posts get, but some ideas and elements apply to others.

Rant ahead..Take an exit and come back for my next post if uninterested

I’ve noticed that while many people mention their vaccine and stimulus, many do it in an apologetic way or in a way that makes them want to feel justified. ” Oh, I had to because I have this health risk and want to visit my mom.” and ” Oh, I really wanted to wait longer, but this place had a surplus.” ” I promise to spend my check on worthwhile things.”

You don’t need to make justifications for having anything nice or even essential!

I am guilty of this, as well. Often, when I go on a trip or make a somewhat larger purchase, I try to chalk up some explanation, how I’ve been saving hard and have not done x in a long time. It is natural to feel guilty and unworthy when so many others have a hard time or less than you do. You don’t want to sound tone-deaf to the problems around you. You don’t want the court of Facebook to convict you of being a privileged asshole.

A couple of months ago, I bought a weighted blanket for myself. It was probably the first material items that I have bought for myself that was not essential. A couple of weeks later, an acquaintance from a nearby country was asking publicly in some group about them. I told her about mine. She asked a few questions about them. Both of us had to insist that we were buying one for health reasons and used leftover holiday money. In a way, we wanted to justify why we wanted one. We were halfway apologizing for wanting one in the first place. It was not a huge purchase, just a small comfort. It is a little purchase that has made my mediocre life quality go up just a little bit.

Accepting Covid relief when you are not as deeply affected and getting your vaccine a little early does not make you an overly entitled asshole. The vaccines need to go to as many people as possible and as fast as possible. The experts have basically said it is best to get your vaccine whenever it is available. This article answers the common questions very well. If you did not fly to some remote place and steal vaccines from vulnerable communities like this couple, you are probably good. If you are not a billionaire getting richer over covid, you are probably good.

Stop being a self righteous jealous little prick when somebody gets something they more than likely deserved

There is a huge difference between holding people accountable for things and outright shaming.

I’ve encountered this on the way too many chats and threads. I probably spend too much time on them, but that is a side effect of covid. Too many people are bashing others for the most minimal things. I’ve seen this toxicity from people of all political views. It needs to stop. I saw in one chat a mob of people dragging down someone who posted about getting a new sofa and going on a short trip to visit a friend across the country. She got scolded. ” Why are you not using it for something more important” and ” Why don’t you donate it if you are so rich and can do that”. Newsflash, basic comfort in your home is not a luxury. Visiting friends is good for mental health. It is also none of your business how a woman spends her stimulus check.

I’ve also seen US citizens abroad give each other hell over the stimulus checks. “You don’t live there anymore. You are leeching” or ” I’m going to give mine to my family instead of taking it because I don’t feel right”. Just stop! Most of us have paid some taxes. We were deprived of public health care in the US. Our government wastes billions of dollars every year on bombing countries, which I never agreed to. The state department spends billions more on various civil society programs, which I’m not opposed to, but still. Trying to hound a person for accepting what is basically a pittance from their home country is rude. They might even be spending it on some finances they have in the US. It doesn’t matter. It is none of your business.

Your mental health is important

Travelling and doing things that are nice for you is good for your mental health. Go on that trip, and be Covid safe. Buy a little something for yourself. Donate to a worthwhile cause that makes you happy. Buy some great things from a small business that needs business. Order a feast from your favourite Asian restaurant that needs really needs business. You do you.

Enough, problematic things are going on in the world. Feeling shame over something quite small is unnecessary. It is even more unnecessary to shame someone for taking part in something small or getting something basic. Half the time, they already feel kind of guilty about it. If you are so angry about why one person gets something nice and how other people don’t, why don’t you invest your time and effort to make life better for marginalized people? Harassing middle-class people for having something nice or just even something just basic does not make you woke; it makes you an asshole.

Rant over! Stay tuned for my next article, in which I will write about the Sapa market in Prague and history of Vietnamese migration in the Czech Republic. In light of the recent horrible events regarding Anti-Asian racism, I would like to feature a couple of posts about prominent and powerful Asian communities in Europe and the Americas